The Misadventures of the Batfamily
by zetagirl123
Summary: (and the Misfortunes of Tim) Damian Wayne and his best friend Bart Allen have lots of totally awesome adventures, bad things happen to Tim Drake, Jason Todd is out for blood, Stephanie and Cassie do girl stuff, Dick is the oldest, and Batman is, well, Batman.
1. Homework

_A/N Okay, just as a side note Tim is 14, and is Red Robin, and Damien, 10, is Robin. Bart has his original back story, coming from the future, living with Max, but is only 10 in this story. Also for future reference, Barry is alive and Wally is still KF. Not sure if I am going to bring Yj or the TT into this yet…. Anyway, questions and suggestions are welcome; no flames please. If you would do the honors Bart-_

_Bart: Of course! All rights go to DC, Zetagirl123 does not own anything._

_D: Except an overactive imagination and an unhealthy obsession with fictional characters. _

_Me: *glares*_

_D: Nevermind_

The Misadventures of Damian and Bart

Tim was currently 5 seconds away from flat out killing Damien and Bart. Why, you ask?

He wasn't a violent person; far from it! He was a calm, cool, collected, patient, and kind hearted person. He was probably the best behaved of his siblings, and he rarely argued with them.

Earlier today, all Tim wanted to do was finish his homework. It was so peaceful in the house; no one but him was home. Stephanie was at boarding school in Britain (which was actually a covert mission given to her by Batman), Dick was at work, Alfred had taken little Cassie with him on errands, and Jason was who knows where. Everything was going smoothly.

"I'm back! Anyone home?" Tim heard as he saw his little brothers Damian's head appear in the hallway.

"Just me, D," he answered.

"Oh, hey bro," Damien said.

"Hey Tim! What up?" an all too familiar voice asked; it was none other than D's best friend, the young and somewhat hyperactive speedster himself, Bart Allen.

"Hey Bart, just doin' some homework. You guys get any today?"

"Nope, surprisingly not."

An awkward silence ensued, and then Tim resumed typing his essay while D and Bart sat on the couch next to him, staring blankly ahead.

"*sigh* I'm so bored."

"*sigh* Me too." both boys mused, and they then both looked at Tim, who sweat dropped. He knew what was coming next; it was a scene that played out many times before.

"Sooooooo…. What do you wanna do?" Damian asked Bart.

"I dunno, what do you wanna do?"

"I dunno, what do you wanna do?"

This went on for about a good 5 minutes before Tim said "Guys, come on. There are _plenty_ of things to do around here."

They looked at him like he had spoken in a foreign language.

Now it was Tim's turn to sigh. "Look, I really need to finish my homework. Why don't you go and play video games or watch TV or something?"

They stared at him blankly for a moment, deep in thought.

"Okay, catch you later then." At that the two got up and left the room.

"K." Tim said absently, still typing.

_Finally peace and qui-_ Tim's thought was abruptly cut off as music started blasting, coming from the direction of D's room. And the song made him cringe.

_**-and the seal goes ow ow ow**_

_**But theirs one sound that no one knows…**_

_**What does the- **_

"No" Tim says as he somehow teleported himself into D's room and pulled the plug on the stereo.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" D asks, as he turns to see a slightly perturbed - okay_ very- _perturbed Tim.

"What the heck are you guys doing? And what are you wearing Bart?"

Bart who was dressed as a fox, was about to answer when Tim said

"Don't answer either of those questions; I don't even want to know. "

Then he calmed down and said in a nicer voice "Guys, I really need to finish my homework. Can you please just keep it down?"

"Alright, alright, we know."

So Tim went back to his computer until he heard this:

_***BOOM!***_

"Help me! Help me I'm DYING!"

"No, Damian!"

"It's too late for me, I'm finished….."

"NOOOOO!"

_Oh, no! What happened?_ Tim thought as he raced back into D's room.

He walked into the room- only to find that they were just fine, playing a video game on D's 3ds.

"Hey, I told you to keep it down. I can't concentrate!"

"Sorry" they said.

"I know, why don't you guys go have a snack?"

"Soundsgoodtome!" Bart said and in a flash he was already in the kitchen, D following him.

Tim then resumed his homework. After 15 minutes of silence, however, he began to get suspicious and decided to see what they were up to in the kitchen.

When he walked into the kitchen however, nothing was on fire or destroyed as Tim had feared. In fact, the kids hadn't even made a mess. They were just eating some chicken whizzes.

So after he saw that they weren't up to something (yet), he went and finished his homework.

He was I the middle of getting some water when he remembered he had to save the document. So, he went back to get his computer, which was sitting on the-

_Wait, wait wait. I put my computer on the table didn't I? But where is the table?_

"D! Where is the table and my computer?"

"Umm…. Which one?" Damien called from his room nervously.

"Oh, I don't know….. Maybe the one I was using for my HOMEWORK."

"Oooooohohoh….that one….. Well…..ummm….it's gone."

"It's gone. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S GONE?"

"…."

At this Tim ran up the stairs to D's room and burst open the door. He was not happy with what he saw. First he looked at the device on Damien's arm, then at portal on the ceiling, then at Bart's terrified face, then the broken table and his now unusable computer on the floor.

Now, this is why Tim was 5 seconds away from killing Damian and Bart.

"Why? WHY?" He screamed while shaking both of them.

"All I wanted to do was finish my homework. Why is it so hard for you guys to just leave me alone for a few hours and be quite?"

"Sorry! We were just playing around and we accidently opened the portal under the table and it sorta fell through."

After he finally stopped shaking D and B, he dragged them down the hallway.

"W-Where are you taking us?"

Tim got this deranged look on his face and didn't say anything. He then stopped in front of Jason's room, and right then and there, D knew he wouldn't live to see another day. Tim opened the door and shoved them inside. He then got out Jason's favorite red hoodie and started to tear it with one of his birdarangs.

"No, Tim! You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would." After Tim was done with this diabolical task, he smirked evilly.

After locking them inside, Tim nonchalantly walked to his room and closed the door behind him. Then he got his other laptop and started his homework from the beginning. When Jason got home, Tim ignored the screaming and other sounds of suffering coming from his room. He also didn't have any more trouble with D and Bart after they got out of the hospital.

_A/N Lessons learned: Don't get Tim mad and NEVER touch Jason's hoodie or he will kill you. I know, that was a lame story and it was not funny at all and everyone was OOC, and I'm sorry. I promise to improve my writing skills! Also, you're probably wondering how D got a portal gun. I don't know ask him._

**NEXT: A Day in the life of Jason, Babysitting Blues, or Young Just Us; whichever I get around to writing first. **

**Also, anyone guess what D is playing? Clue: It's on the 3ds and when you die the screen says 'I'M FINISHED!'**


	2. The Awesome Secret Place

"Of course I'm still coming. So meet you guys there at 5:30? Ok, see ya!"

Tim then hung up the phone. It was Saturday. Later he was going meet Gar, Jamie, Cassandra, and Carrie at the mall. Although, the main purpose of meeting at the mall wasn't to shop.

Tim stole a glance at his watch. It was 4:30; he had plenty of time to get to the mall since there was one really close to his house. And the best part about it was the fact that Max (Bart's guardian) would be watching Damian _and _Cassie for the day. What could go wrong, right? Wrong, as Tim found this out less than 1 nano second after he had gotten off of the phone. Damian and Bart with Cassie in tow came barreling though the door.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought Max was taking you to the fair!"

"He was but-"

"Hehadtogosavetheworldorsomethingsohepromisedhewou ldtakeustomorrow. Sohesaidtocomecomebackandtellyouheissorrybutitlook slikeyouwillhavetowatchustoday."

Bart finished talking without even taking a breath.

"What about Helen?"

"She's at work!"

Tim facepalmed. He should have known he couldn't have a peaceful day.

"O.k. well maybe Jason could-"

"No." Jason said appearing out of nowhere, then immediately walking out of the door.

"Maybe Alfred-"

"He's filming that new show, remember? "

Tim let out an exasperated sigh. He was running out of options! He was left with only 2 choices: 1 Leave them at home by themselves or 2 take them with him.

Even though both choices made him shudder with fear, choice No. 2 seemed the lesser of the evils.

"Alright then. I guess you're coming with me."

"Yay!" said Damian and Bart. Cass just looked at him with that creepy stare. Cassandra Cain. She didn't talk to anyone except Stephanie and Bruce (sometimes). Although she was only 4, she had been trained by her parents, who were assassins. Deemed too dangerous for the orphanage after she was taken away from her parents, she was to be sent to a correctional institution. But of course Bruce had taken pity on her and she now lives at Wayne Manor.

"So where are we going anyway?" Bart asked snapping Tim out of his thoughts.

_Oh no! I they find out about the cave, they'll ruin everything!_ Tim thought worriedly to himself.

"To the mall." He started out cautiously. "But after that, were going to someplace secret. Can I count on you guys to keep it that way?"

"A secret?" both boys' eyes got as big as saucers.

"Like, one we can't tell anyone? What about Batman?"

"NO! Especially _not _Batman."

"Why?"

"Because, um…" Tim struggled to come up with a good excuse. "Otherwise you will ruin the surprise!"

"Surprise? What is it?"

"You'll see it when we get there. Now come on let's go."

So Tim and co. walked to the mall and got there a few minutes early.

"Okay let's wait here at the entrance a minute. Uh, hold up. WHERE DID BART AND CASSIE GO?"

In response, D shrugged. "Knowing Bart, he's probably at the food court."

Tim let out yet another exasperated sigh. He then looked at his watch. 5:15. _That's plenty of time to find two kids in a mall bigger than Wayne Mansion, right?_ Tim thought, trying to look on the bright side. It wasn't working.

"I know! I'll go this way-"

"Oh no you don't." Tim said grabbing Damian's arm. "I don't need anyone else lost. You're staying with me."

So they looked in the food court, and lo and behold, Bart was standing in line at the Mcdonalds.

He refused to leave until he got something to eat, which he did. After buying Bart something to eat, they went looking all around for Cassie. They looked in the toy store, pet shop, clothing store, electronics shop. They looked everywhere! Just as Tim was about to give up, they passed an antique shop in which people were screaming. And they had good reason to as Cassie had taken an old sword, which was meant to be decorative, from its sheath and was currently swinging it around.

In one swift move Tim removed the sword from her grasp and grabbed her before quickly exiting the store.

Back at the entrance of the mall, 4 teens stood around impatiently.

"Where could he be? Its 6:00 already! What could be making him so late?" said the one with green hair.

"Say's the one who got here, like 5 minutes ago! You're always late," said a rather outspoken girl with blonde hair. In response he shot her a glare.

"Hey, look there he is now. Hey Tim, what took ya?" said the girl with orange hair and green glasses.

"_They_ took me." He replied as Damian, Bart and Cassie emerged from behind him.

"Whoa, whoa whoa. Back up hermano, what are the little dudes doing here?" said Jamie.

"I had to bring them with me because Max couldn't watch them today."

"But what about the you-know-what? They might tell, and then what?" Cass asked.

Tim looked down at the kids. "I don't think they will. Especially not Cassie…."

"Alright, fine whatever! Can we please go now?!" asked Carrie who was always eager for adventure.

"Hmmm" Cass said as she surveyed the 3. "O.K. they can come."

"But if any of this gets out I am holding _you _responsible Tim Drake," she added with a death glare that could make Superman cringe.

The crew started walking together away from the mall but then everyone nodded to each other and split up.

"Uhh…. Ok what just happened? I thought we were going to the top secret place?" D asked confused.

"We are. Now shhh. It's not going to stay a secret if you up and tell the _whole world_! Just follow my lead and act natural.

They were now in a mostly empty part of town; only a few people then and again. They followed him up an alley to the entrance of a seemingly abandoned building, but as they got to the door it was clear it wasn't. There was a retinal scanner as well as voice identification.

Tim let it scan his eye, then said his name and the door opened. Inside was not much, but the others were already here. As they went inside Tim punched a button on the wall and the old a dusty table tuned into a computer panel and a bare wall revealed it was actually a zeta tube.

"Woa! Awesome! This place is so cool!" said Bart.

"If you think _this_ is cool, you ain't seen nothin yet!" Carrie exclaimed and cracked her knuckles before typing madly on the keyboard in front of her. The zeta tube crackled to life and everyone stood in front of it.

"C'mon guys!"

"Wait, we get to take a zeta tube?! This is epiiic!"

The whole world went fuzzy before they materialized.

"Where are we?" D asked.

"Welcome to the cave."

A/n I changed my mind. I wanted Carrie in this story, but for the sake of my sanity we can't have 3 Robins in this universe. So Tim is Robin, Damian is Red Bird, and Carrie's code name is Cardinal. At least until further notice. This story is eventually going to go into a different story, separate from The Misadventures of Damian and Bart. If you have a favorite hero or sidekick in the Dc universe, tell me and I might put them in either the next chapter or new story.


End file.
